Cleaning out the Fishtank...For the Last Time

So when all the fish die, and you don't want to buy more. It's time to give away the fish tank. Not in it's current condition, so here' how to clean it out completely.

Gather the fishtank vaccum to reduce the water to 1/2 level. Using gravity to Drain the dirty water into a bucket.

Until your bucket is full of water.

Take it to the dump.

No, this kind of dump.

The next step is to scrub the sides with the tank scrubber to remove the calcium deposits and algae growth.

The brush needs to be wet and kept wet to keep from scratching the glass.

Scoop out the gravel. It might have another purpose.

6 square inches of mulch?

Remove the plants. If they're super nasty, they're not worth keeping.

Now all that's left is some serious calcium deposits near the top.

Yuck.

Tough jobs call for tough stuff like bleach or vinegar. Since the smell of bleach makes me gag, I chose vinegar.

45 minutes later...Better, but not gone. I think it's good enough for a garage sale.
 $1 in my pocket.

Burning a Ring of Fire

Every other now and then life requires the extraordinary out of us...Like when you need to burn a field full of weeds. So here's some free advice on how to do just that.

 

*Notice this is not a timely post as you should do this in the spring.

 

Dress appropriately. I used my Master C Snowboots, because they have rubber soles so they're not flammable...I think...

The list of tools required is surprisingly short and primitive. You need a rake to spread the fire where you want it to go and a shovel to smother it in places you don't want it.

 

You will also need a waterhose and fill a weed sprayer with water to wet any trees you want to keep and along the path you want the fire to stop at. A great tip would be to mow around the area you want to burn, so you remember where you want to burn.

 

It also gives you a walking path for your fire team. Also good to have a path for the water hose, just in case it gets out of control. I mean we are talking about controlling one of the most powerful natural forces on earth.

To get it started, you spread it against the wind (just like the song) not with it (recipe for disaster).

Here is a visual example of how to spread the flames using the rake. Dry grass is gathered into the rake. The rake is put into the flames briefly, then the burning grass remaining on the rake is dropped onto the grass about a foot in front of the current line of fire.

Thus leading the fire where you want it to go.

 

Go Fire Go!

Whoa, fire whoa....When it reaches 1/2 across the field you are burning, you start the fire on the side with the wind and the fires meet in the middle at the speed of...fire.

We did use the hose. We did use the shovel for lots of smothering and for a field mouse. SMACK! Oh, yuck. We got 'em.

The field burning crew minus 2.

The product of our success. It looks better when the green grass starts growing on the black soil.

Nelson Gets a Bus Pass

With the rising cost of gasoline, I decided it was time to get a bus pass. After all we have a city bus system why not use my sales tax dollars responsibly?

 First step, put on some sunscreen, comfortable shoes and bright clothing. There will be sun exposure because you will still be doing some walking. Public transportation is not a taxi service. They do not revolve around your errands.

The bright clothing is so that if you are hit by a car or bike, they can't say they didn't see you.

Secondly, locate the nearest bus stop. In my town, they claim that most residents are within 1/2 mile walking distance of a bus stop. Not too shabby.

 

While waiting for the bus, you can study the map. Familiarize yourself with which bus routes stop at that point and at which times. This info can be found online. You can also find a number to call for help with trip planning--very convenient for the directionally challenged.

Some bus stops include a shelter. Get outta the rain!

 Rules: once on the bus, there is no sleeping, drinking or eating allowed...Yes, that's a disappointment, but understood.  Before your stop you pull on the cord overhead to let the driver know he/she needs to stop and drop you off.

 

 You may conquer your fear of heights as a bonus, since you may need to walk from the nearest bus stop to your destination. Keep in mind that jay-walking is illegal.

On my maiden voyage, it took 1 hour to reach my destination...Which raised some critical questions because my chosen destination was about 2 miles from my house. . .  After finishing my errand I decided to walk home, rather than wait 15 minutes for the bus to come back. That only took about 30 minutes. . . Driving myself would have taken 6 minutes. Which I actually had to do because the screwdriver I purchased was the wrong size.

So moral of the story is. . . I should try again with a destination not so near my house. That would make it worth my time, right?

 Afterwards, I spent some time studying the bus route and maps. This proved helpful because I realized the route nearest my house only comes to the same place each hour. Some other routes are shorter and more efficient by returning to the same place every 40 minutes. So if I drove to a different bus stop and parked. . .

  I have a bus pass, but I may not be using it as often as I first thought...

Super Sloppy Joes

Sometimes, sloppy Joes is the only thing the sounds good.  Let me rephrase, sometimes super sloppy Joes are the only thing that sound good because my cafeteria lady's sloppy joes left me dissatisfied. This is a great one because the average person who eats food will have all the ingredients on hand.  So I will let you in on the secret. Partly because I was too late for it to get published in a cookbook and partly because I like to share a good thing when I find it.

 To start you need to gather your ingredients:

Ketchup, BBQ sauce, Salsa (two nearly empty jars both = salsa) mustard and 1 lb. Hamburger--already browned with green peppers and onions.

I usually multitask when cooking. This time I was working on my dance moves, so I decided to mix the sauces first. 1 Cup ketchup, 1/2 C. Salsa

Smaller portions now: 1 Tb. mustard, maybe it calls for 2?

1Tb. BBQ sauce

Yep that bottle was nearly empty and exploded after shaken.

Clean as you go!  BBQ sauce is sticky!!

Now add the meatiness and go stir crazy.

And stir while on low. Only let it simmer for a short time. It just needs to be warmed but the longer it sits being warmed the better I think it tastes.

Especially on toasted buns. Better than the cafeteria ladies for sure...

S'mores Indoors

 Sometimes the weather is not favorable for bonfires and s'mores. Sometimes you don't have a brush pile in your backyard to burn as you please. Sometimes you are in a burn ban and you can't enjoy the typical s'mores treat. Don't worry because you can enjoy s'mores indoors!

Gather the standard ingredients: graham crackers, large marshmallows and chocolate.

 The first step is to melt the chocolate. Place a few small bars of chocolate on each graham as show above.

Into the microwave they go! I would try 20-30 seconds, watching it as I wait. I can tell the chocolate is soft when it starts to appear glossy or shiny.

The next step is to soften your marshmallows. They will not take as long as the chocolate, 15-20 seconds or even less. Again it is wise to watch while you wait.

This is probably my favorite part because the marshmallows expand and "grow," then they topple over.

The finishing touch is to put another graham on each cracker, spread the chocolate a little and bite in. Yum! I can tell you it is just as messy and sticky as it would be if you were eating outside.

After cleaning chocolate off my cheeks and fingers , I put my ingredients away, noticing the suggested recipes on each package. What do you know, the marshmallow bag said, "Use the microwave" to make s'mores with complete directions.

I know what you're thinking, "Wow, Nelson! Thanks for nothing! If I  can read, I can figure it out for myself."

What do I have to say to that thought? 

"Sure! Anytime I can be of not help at all! I am here for you."

What to do on a Snow Day

1. Sleep in - you really don't need to get up.

2. Laundry

3. Make yourself a nutritious breakfast, like cinnamon rolls, right out of the can.

4. It's about time to fold the laundry, but make sure you have a good mix of music playing to pump you up (Florence and The Machine was my choice).

5. Check your e-mail.

6. Check your facebook account.

7. Get some exercise while you're cooped up with DDR on PS2.

8. Cool down with some Sufjan Stevens.

9. Get in some banjo practicing time.

Check out what's available for free through Amazon's Video on demand. You'd be surprised how many special features are available for FREE.

10. Make yourself some ringtones, research how to make your own text-tone sound effects.

11. Clear the driveway. Think about running errands, then remind yourself it is 10 degrees outside and change your mind. 

Lost: If Found...

Doing a favor for a friend, I volunteered to drive them 3 hours and drive myself home that night. They were responsible for getting directions...No problem right? Just reverse the directions to get home.

It's dark, I forgot about that. So nothing looks familiar, oh wait that did, but from the other way. I need to turn around. 30 minutes later...so I should be running into I70 soon ...I don't remember being on this road before.

Oh that looks like a toll booth! Wait, those are US military guys...in uniform. Yep 100% sure I am lost....
Mr. Military police #1 -ID please.
Me - I am 100% sure I am lost.

Mr. Military Police #2 - Wait so you see the P-O-L-I-C-E and you don't want to talk to me?
Me - Actually no, I just need to find I 70.
Military Police #2 -Well, then we just need to get you turned around here. So you need to turn around on the 6th street turn rt and you'll run into ___ and that will take you right to I70. 

Me -What's the name of the street? 

MP#2- I don't remember but it's the 6th street back.

Me- Oh, no. I'm gonna have to count. OK thanks.

Is this street number 6? Does that count as a street or is that an alley? OK so this should be #6, nope it's a dead end. OK, so let's go back one street, so it was an alley and it doesn't count. Now we're on Walnut. So I'm looking for I70, but this is Walnut!?

I should say that since this experience I now carry a card with me that reads: I'm lost. If found, please call: Pheffer.  Which will come in handy the next time this happens.

God bless the armed forces anyways.